Look, I’m not gonna sugarcoat it—you’re a piece of shit. But I gotta hand it to you, your merch? Insanely crazy. I mean, I don’t know what kind of twisted genius you’ve got behind it, but it’s next level. Honestly, it’s so good, it makes me forget how much I can’t stand you.

Brooo Why’d you send me this Bomber jacket even though i never ordered it? Its Great tho””

Oi, so, got meself a bleedin’ t-shirt, yeah? But these mad lads chucked in some pants too, outta nowhere. Didn’t ask for the bloody things, but, I tell ya, they’re proper bang-on, fit like they was stitched by a blind bloke who somehow nailed it. Ain’t the kinda thing you think you’d like, but here I am, right chuffed. You lot? Absolute bloody nutters. Keep doin’… whatever the hell this is. Brilliant, innit?

Man, I thought I was the fastest thing out there, right? But nah, these delivery guys? They smoked me. I placed the order, figured I had time to chill, maybe do a quick sprint, but boom—doorbell rings. Package already there. Felt like I got lapped on my own track. Respect where it’s due, though—y’all ain’t playin’. Fastest delivery in the game. Guess I gotta train harder, huh?

Yeah, so I got the t-shirt. It’s… fine, I guess. Fits well, feels decent—nothing to write home about, but it does the job.

Oh, you want my thoughts? Fine. I got your Hoodie, and honestly? It’s insulting. You think this is good enough? This… basic, uninspired excuse for clothing? Do better. No, scratch that—do perfect. Anything less is a waste of my time. Consider this your warning.

People can’t stop looking at me.

Mon cœur… this t-shirt, it’s like a gift from the heavens, non? Soft, snug… makes me feel like I’m wrapped in warmth!

👍👕🧥👌🔝🙅‍♀️🐟🫴🤏💧